Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Dripping Fangs or Rotting Flesh: The Correct Identification of the Creatures from Robert E. Howard’s ‘The Hills of the Dead’

In his short story “The Hills of the Dead” Robert E. Howard sets the Puritan adventurer against what he calls vampires. However, after reading the story I believe that the creatures described are not a loose tribe of vampires, but a human-flesh hungered mob of zombies. Throughout this article I will be referring to the Max Brook’s Zombie Survival Guide.

When the creatures attack Kane in his cave, they don’t use the vampire’s great strength or advanced speed, instead “the talon-like nails of the black were tearing at his face…” This is classic zombie tactics against the living. Interestingly, during the entire course of the story, there is not one mention of fangs. From all textual clues, it appears that the creatures possessed normal human teeth. (There is a mention during a later fight that the creatures were “sucking” at Kane’s wounds. While this is a possible mention of fangs, this fails to account for why there was no mention of this earlier.)

During this same fight, Kane makes the observation that the creature’s skin is hard as wood; later the creatures are described as “mummied monsters.” It is highly unlikely that vampires would have wood-hard skin, their unique form of immortality allows their bodies to continue replicating skin and blood cells—thus keeping their skin live-human smooth. Zombies lack this, and are consistently running down their walking corpse of a body as it decomposes ( Brooks; Zombie Survival Guide, pages 10-11). However with proper conditions, like an African desert, the zombies could have been naturally mummified by the shifting sands and winds.

Later, Zunna tells Kane that “Men and beasts flee them [the creatures]…” There is no record of animals fleeing vampires; most animals either treat them as living humans—though occasionally a dog will be mistrustful of a vampire. Zombies create terror in their local ecosystem as beasts flee to escape the virus.

After N’Longa takes over the body of Kran he tells Kane “Them vampires no talk nor yell; they dead.” As we know, all vampires talk; most seem to have an affliction that forces them to talk for pages, making these silent vampires almost unvampiric. Zombies are unable to talk; the only sounds they can issue are, at best, a low moan. Later it is mentioned that the creatures emitted “silent gibbering[s].” According to the dictionary “gibbering” is defined as “Unintelligible or foolish talk.” These two references do not apply to vampires, but quite handily match up with the moans of a zombie—what are moanings if not unintelligible talk.

When Kane and N’Longa cause the creatures to notice them, they attack in a hoard. “Out of the cave they came swarming, the terrible black silent shapes; up the slopes they came clambering, and their red eyes were turned toward the two humans who stood about the silent city. The caves belched them forth in an unholy judgment day.” Vampires rarely attack as a gang, and when they do, their numbers rarely reach over five or six. This, however, is a classic example of zombie behavior.

Finally, during the climatic fight where the creatures overrun Kane biting and tearing at his flesh, we find evidence that the creatures are incapable of feeling pain; as Howard records “skulls were shattered, their faces caved in and their limbs broken” yet they still continued to attack. If a vampire were given this rough treatment he would be forced to retreat until the great pain abated and he was physically ready for another round of combat. Zombies however, have been known to continue attacking even once more than 80% of their bodies were destroyed—and continued attacking until intensive trauma was induced on the brain. (As for the argument that Kane shattered the creature’s skulls, look again to the text. Right after “shattered skulls” Howard mentions “faces caved in,” it seems Kane was limiting his attacks to the front part of the head—dismembering their faces—thereby destroying the zombie’s sense of sight, smell, and (limited) communication, but doing little, if any, damage to the brain itself.

At this point in the article, I am willing to state that the creatures are unarguably zombies mummified by the African environment. Despite my wishes as author, a few pieces of evidence going against my findings need to be dealt with.

During his first encounter with the creatures, Kane manages to kill the things by stabbing them with his cat-headed wood staff. It would seem obvious that the wood killed the creatures (giving good evidence that the beasts are vampires) but I don’t find this the case. Kane is first shocked by this event—one so knowledgeable should not be stunned by finding a wooden stave useful against a vampire; second, Kane rationalizes that the magic within his staff is what killed the “vampires.” I am inclined to agree with him.
Several times in the short story, the creatures are noted as possessing red eyes. In truth, I can find no explanation for this phenomena (Max Brook’s The Zombie Survival Guide helpfully notes: “The eyes of a zombie are no different than those of a normal human.”) Red eyes only seem to exist in the skulls of vampires and demons; one category of beings with red eyes remains untapped for an explanation—normal humans afflicted (in life) with albinism.

It is possible that a thousand years before Kane arrived at the lost city, a number of albino children were born, and due to the fear of the city leaders were only allowed to breed among themselves, after several generations (and a lack of fresh albino children from the normal population) the slightly inbred albino population was allowed to intermarry with the normal population. This caused an explosion of albino population, and thus created a civilization of albinos. [1]

These albino zombies may provide explanation for one of the most curious events of the story. During the climatic battle, Solomon Kane’s flesh is bitten and “sucked” by the creatures many times. Kane is not turned into any type of monster and continues on his adventures. Some types of vampires need several feedings to transform a victim into a blood-sucker, but as shown above, the chances of these creatures being normal infective zombies is low to nil. From this we can conclude that the zombies in “Hills of the Dead” are inflicted with a noncontaminatory strain of the Solanum virus. (Note: the Solanum virus is the official name for the zombie plague, as divulged in the Zombie Survival Guide.) Perhaps the albino genes altered the Solanum virus into a genetic cocktail that can only be contracted by other Albinos.

One final puzzling note is worth pointing out: when Kane first encounters the creatures they exhibit both an attraction and fear of his fire. Neither vampires nor zombies have a fear of fire. A vampire would laugh, or at the very most back away, if a torch was waved in his face; a zombie would fail to recognize the fire and set himself alight—slowly burning himself to death. This is one of the more puzzling elements of the story, and the lone factor that could make a future researcher assign the creatures as a completely different type of monster.

Despite several odd features, I fully believe that the creatures Kane encountered in the African savanna were zombies. This historic encounter would dovetail nicely with the recorded history of zombie attacks recorded by Max Brooks (in his Zombie Survival Guide), where a reasonable argument is built that the Solanum virus progenated somewhere in the African continent.



Works Cited
Brooks, Max. The Zombie Survival Guide. New York: Three Rivers, 2003. Print.

Howard, Robert E. "The Hills of the Dead." 1930. The Savage Tales of Solomon Kane. New York: Del Rey, 1998. 223-53. Print.

National Organization for Albinism and Hypopigmentation. "NOAH — What Is Albinism?" The National Organization for Albinism and Hypopigmentation. Web. 22 June 2010. .

Monday, July 5, 2010

Road to Iran; An Irate Reader's Review of "Zombies of Mass Destruction"

Zombies of Mass Destruction (or ZMD as its creators like to call it) is a mishmash of good ideas poorly executed, and mind-numbingly stupid ideas executed with all the aplomb of a bored four year old. This was written by Kevin Grevioux (blarg!) and drawn by Geraldo Borges & Dave Youkovich (who tried to save this series from itself).

The first issue starts with the only great idea the creators seem to have come up with. An American freighter flies overhead and drops metallic tubes over an Iranian nuclear bomb testing facility; zombies burst forth from the tubes and in a matter of hours overrun the entire complex. Fourteen hours after the tubes first struck the Iranian earth the zombie virus inside of them burns away, killing all chance of the infection spreading and causing a World War Z like global apocalypse. One zombie, however, does not burn and wonders off into the desert.

Now, five pages in, all the crap gets thrown at the poor reader. We are introduced to a shell-shocked almost parody of Captain America. This guy lacks the suit and shield, but in personality (when he has one) and looks he matches up perfectly with Steve Rogers. Apparently Not-Cap married a girl during the first Gulf War and then ditched her when she didn't move to America--or something: the creators are never quite clear what when on between them. For all the difference it makes we can assume that her Mother in Law tried to kill Not-Cap.

We are also introduced to a group of shadowy Republicans who are not sorry that zombies were unleashed on the Iranian site. Because of this, they are shown as the face of uncaring evil--all that is wrong with the American government.

But what did the Shadow Republicans do that was really wrong? Did they use a technology that was maybe best left unused? Yes. But by wiping that Iranian testing facility off the face of the Earth, lives were saved. Iran was then unable to produce the bombs necessary to blast Israel (something the current Iranian leader is itching to do); The Iranians are unable to bomb any other Arab country that fails to fall under their hand. Thus, by unleashing a small scale zombie outbreak on the nuclear facility countless lives were saved from an atomic holocaust.

Not-Cap complains about the Shadow Republicans then agrees to go and kill the escaped zombie. The escaped zombie's been doing what zombies do and eating people, converting them into his own undead army.

Not-Cap spends four pages introducing his team to the reader; but since the reader is given no reason to care about these morons they don't stick in the readers head and bleed together. Some of them right quick, making their introduction all the more pointless. Not-Cap gets bit, but since they have zombie-antidote it doesn't matter.

Not-Cap's commando team gets shot down by zombies with RPGs. The team is attacked by mutant scorpions, then saved by a team of Christian Iranian commandos (???).

From this point, the commandos are kidnapped by zombies and taken to Zombie Village where the Zombie King and Zombie Queen rule over the Temple of Dagon (this last bit was advertised in the blurb, but there is no appearance of any Lovecraftian reference). The Zombie King turns out to be Not-Cap's old Commanding Officer and wants to eat every human in the world. The Zombie Queen is, for even less of a logical reason, the ex-wife that Not-Cap abandoned in the Iranian deserts. She mocks him, and the commandos are thrown into a holding cell.

In the cell, two commandos try to set up a nuclear bomb and wipe out Zombie Village, but all the other commandos beat them up so they don't die. Thus, we can further determine that Not-Cap is a coward. Since this comic series makes no sense, Not-Cap's idiotic actions are presented as heroism.

Through a series of events that make no sense--including the leader of the Christian Iranian Commandos past as an expert on Iranian Temple Design (???)--the commandos escape. Not-Cap rescues his (for some reason still living) daughter and runs into the desert. The Shadow Republicans pull one final bit of "villainy" and carpet bomb Zombie Village to dust. I have no idea why the series wants me to feel sorry for the zombie army that wants to EAT US ALL.

I'm guessing that in this series, the zombies are supposed to be a philosophical stand-in for violent Islam. This is troubling because the message passed on to the reader is: They want to kill you; letting them kill you is the morally right thing to do. What a load of madness. The only characters in this series who acted logically again the undead were the Shadow Republicans with their policy of shutting down any threat with the most logically fitting action.

I normally love the comic books put out by Red 5 Comics (like the fantastic Atomic Robo) but this miniseries is the trash that makes me wary of independent comic publishers.

Final Grade: D-